My husband and I belong to Wheatland Presbyterian Church on 462 and President Ave. It's unlike any other church I've ever attended. It's a church filled with an amazing combination of God-loving intellect and artistry. Almost every encounter I have had with another member of the church has been enlightening, encouraging, and most importantly, God-centric without being legalistic. What upsets me most about Christian behavior is when it smacks of "holier than thou" attitude. God put us on this earth to share the gospel in a loving and compassionate way; not to beat it into people with guilt and misguided perseverance. This all to say that I love my church. It's a wonderful haven for me in my new surroundings that, at times, I deem all too provincial.
I had a brief discussion today with one of the ladies at church, whom I love and adore. Although ours isn't a friendship that is built around time spent together, we are sisters in Christ with a unique love and respect for one another--the kind you're lucky to find if even one ever comes along in a lifetime. When we do have those precious moments after service to talk, it spills out of us like a gushing waterfall. She was telling me about the changes in her and her family's lives, how it had been affecting her and her calling, and then she said something to me that was so necessary and timely in my own life and time of need. She said, "Sometimes I'm so focused on planning for the future that I can't just rest in the Lord today."
Rest in the Lord today. As I reflect on those 5 words, I'm almost afraid to admit that I'm not sure what that means. I'm so busy planning my future, like the control freak that I am, that I can't even see what I have today. I don't know what the Lord even wills for me today, but rather than work it out, I'll plan on what I think should happen in my life tomorrow.
Pastor Bruce told a great story in his sermon today. He told a story of a tightrope walker who wanted to walk across Niagara Falls, and to kick it up a notch, would walk across with an apprentice on his shoulders. Before they impart on this perilous journey, the walker tells the apprentice that the success of their endeavor is dependent on the apprentice swaying with him at all times. Even if something were to happen, their only hope of survival will be for the apprentice to trust in his ability to regain balance for both of them. But in order to do that, the apprentice MUST sway with him and submit to his will, even if every thread of the apprentice's being wants to take control and save himself. Turns out that 3/4 of the way across, the rope begins to experience multiple vibrations, making it difficult to regain balance, let alone continue. And the apprentice sways with the walker, just as he was told. He sways with the walker, and the walker regains is balance, and they make it across.
As in the case of the apprentice, Pastor Bruce preached that we should sway with the will of God. Be still and sway with HIS will. Not mine. When I plan for the future without knowing what the Lord has in store, I'm throwing myself off balance, risking what? My future? My life? Only God knows, but I'm done with my own balancing act. I'm not exactly sure where I go from here to understand God's will for me, but I do know that I need to start asking for that understanding now, if I hope to make it all the way across.